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2004-05-12 - 9:12 a.m.

Liz Phair - Not as Sexy as She Thinks

Just because you toss your head back in most of your photoshoots, that doesn't make you sexy. You just look like someone with a very large chin and a neck so weak you can't hold your head up. Also, I like how you changed from Indie Tough Girl to Pretty Pop Singer because you thought it might give you more chances to be photographed chin-first. I don't like you. You can't even sing. Go away.

Careful with that chin there Liz, you might take someone's eye out.

So my nephew, who is about to be 15 and refers to himself as The Pedal Master (even though he doesn't own any pedals for his guitar yet), informed me yesterday that he liked ELO. I almost fainted from approval. Ordinarily, he likes crap like Korn. And though I defend his right to listen to it, it is physically stressful for me to have to hear it. Thank God the Jeff Lynne sunk in.

Well I suppose I should mention the utter lame-itude of the "fetish show" Phil, Bridget and I went to the other night. We missed the actual show because after suffering through 2 horrendous bands, we'd spent too much money on drinks (and finished our smuggled Whiskey as the case may be), not to mention seen enough action, so we left at 1:30. But here is a nutshell rundown of some of the idiots that wre there: 50 year old tranny in "punk" wig; Riding Crop Girl (giving out spankings so weak, Penelope wouldn't be afraid); $500 PVC Fashionista Couple; Spike wannabe; and Smelly Glam/Trash Guy who claims to be a herpetologist because he owns a couple of snakes and spiders. Of course Punk Wig Old Tranny (who took way too long the many times he used the ladies room) made sure Riding Crop girl gave him some mild thwacks. But the grossest part was when Smelly Herpes-tologist and RC Girl (who did not appear to have prior acquaintance) went at it on the barstools. Never a more fitting occasion to call it "the Nasty." I guess that's what I get for going to such an idiotic event anyway. I didn't have high expectations in the first place, but that really exceeded the levels of UGH I expected to encounter. And then there was the hangover the next day.

Oh well, just one more weekend killing time until my Niklas comes home.

song of the day: Parallel Life - the Starseeds

penelope fact: She can express more with the wag of her tail than some people can express with all the words in their mouth.

something queer: This Frightening Item

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