2004-04-08 - 12:57 p.m.
I hope you're sitting down. I know the shock of me updating might be too much for you to handle. I've just had way too much personal stuff on my mind lately to want to regale you all with the comedic, weird, dog-related, or overly excited ranting I usually do around here. But it's either regale or explode. So I choose regale.
The other day, I kicked Vickie in the face. There was blood everywhere! The only sterile absorbent item I had to offer was a tampon. Unused, of course. So there's Dax, in all seriousness, "Hand me the tampon!" No doubt, a demand he never thought he'd make. Fortunately, Jackie had some bandaids with her to keep the wound closed. Although I felt horrible about it, I was cracking up the whole time. I didn't really mean to kick her in the face. I was just horsing around! I know, I know, that's why every sign near a pool says "No Horesplay!" Not that we were in a pool. But sometimes, horseplay really does result in bloody accidents.
Yesterday I watched an episode of Magnum P.I. that featured a midget. Not a Dwarf, just a Midget. But still, it was worth noting.
So Air was Monday, and I didn't go. The tix were stupidly overpriced thanks to Ticketmaster and their service charges, which before the end of the decade will undoubtedly include an actual body part. And of course I'll be missing the Darkness Friday, which has become less of a tragedy now that Niklas wouldn't be able to go anyway - still being in Sweden and all - and it wouldn't be right going without him. So I'm not even going to bother trying to get some last minute tix.
Oh, here's something I've been meaning to discuss for awhile. There are at least 2 billboards around town (i.e., Metairie - shut up you New Orleans snobs) for Elmer's Easter Candy. A Heavenly Hash and a Gold Brick Egg - staples of Easter Baskets since I was a wee lassie - are pictured together on the sign, alongside the declarations, "If it's not Elmer's, you got played!" and "Elmer's - Old School Easter since 1855."
Since when is Easter Candy something to hippify? Seriously? It's candy. You can only get it once a year. And I don't think any kids at any schools are going to gain or lose cred for what kind of Easter Candy they are seen eating?!?!
Every day, I am reminded how embarrassing it is to be a human. If I can get it together, I will try to get pictures of the billboards and put them up here for all to see. It's just preposterous. David Cross has a whole thing about that - "Henderson Valley Eggs, you're gonna love our egggggs! (screeching guitar solo)"
Speaking of David Cross, anyone seen his DVD yet? I'm sure I am totally behind the times and it's probably been out for months, but I just found out about it a week or so ago, and I must see it.
I hope I get to see my favorite commercial again before Easter is over. You know the one - the Toys R Us ad where all the bunnies are singing "Peter Cottontail." I recall it causing a bit of controversy last year - but I think Eve liked it too. How can you not like singing rabbits? Unless you're Anya, in which case, that would probably be the worst form of torture imaginable.
song of the day: Anything You Want - Caesars Palace penelope fact: She lets Crazy May start the rawhides, then she steals them when they are half-eaten something queer: not being able to magically blink myself anywhere I want like Jeanie.