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2003-10-15 - 1:05 p.m.

The nerve of those recordings that call you up and tell you to hold on for a very important message. Who exactly do they think I am? A drooling, retarded monkey in a coma? Does anyone actually EVER hold on for those things?

So I finally figured out what I want to be for Halloween!

A mermaid, cat-bat, pirate, viking, clown-chef who's into S&M!

Why on earth didn't I think of it sooner? To get your own costume ideas, click here

So last night, I went to the mall to get a haircut. It was totally spontaneous, and I didn't have time to make an appointment with someone I knew I could trust. So I went to this place by the food court, and bravely submitted to fate. My horoscope that morning had said that I needed to do some spiritual evaluating in order to prepare for the drama that would befall me between 3 - 6 pm that evening. Of course, I was convinced that meant I would emerge from the food court salon with a mullet. I know it doesn't really matter if your stylist looks like the hippest, cool person on earth, but the woman that came out to get me looked like she didn't know what the word "style" meant. She had long hair, with a horrid perm, puffy bangs, glasses, no makeup, and boring basic black clothes. I crossed my fingers and held my breath while I prepared for the worst. After she washed my hair, she took me back to her station, where I immediately noticed her Bible and a pamphlet called "What's Wrong with Halloween." Oh dear god (no pun intended), I was terrified. She barely even spoke to me, and snipped away in silence with an eerie satisfied smirk on her face. I averted my eyes while she was drying it, and finally, she spun me around and I had to look. I have to say, I was completely surprised. It looked great! Thank god! (again, no pun intended)

Well, Vickie's on the phone now, and it'll be hours before I can get off, so I'm just gonna say bye here.

Toodles

song of the day: Sing - Travis

penelope fact: Never walk up to her and say BZZZZZZZZZZ!

something queer: not having time to think of something queer.

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