2002-12-05 - 11:12 a.m.

Last weekend, I was at my parents� house, when my 4-year-old niece came up to me and said, �There�s a hummingbird on the ground!� I went outside to see what she was talking about, and sure enough there was a little birdie on the patio, directly under one of the huge windows. Birds are constantly flying into their windows and stunning themselves. There have been a couple that didn�t make it, but this little fella did. I picked him up and played with him for a few minutes before he flew up to a high branch in a pine tree. We later identified him as a Ruby Crested Kinglet; they are indigenous to Canada, but they migrate as far south as the Gulf in the winter. It�s hard to believe this little ping-pong ball with wings could make such an arduous journey. But that�s what they do.

Who else is totally ready for Christmas? I decorated my house the night before last. Inside, not out. But due to the abundance of windows in my living area, some of my lights can be seen from the street. It looks really great, even if I did have to move Delilah (my mannequin) closer to the front door where she almost startles me. She�s scared many visitors in the past, but never me. Well, maybe it�s the robbery or something, but I am a little jumpier these days.

So last night, I got on Kaaza and downloaded heaps of Christmas Songs. From Luciano Pavarotti singing �Ave Maria,� to Phantom Planet�s version of �Winter Wonderland.� I also got a few old chestnuts by Julie Andrews and Barbara Streisand. Then suddenly it hit me. What is a Jew doing with a Christmas album? Not that I have a problem with it, but it did make me wonder (as I wandered). I guess no one would have bought her Chanukah album featuring her stirring rendition of �Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.�

This morning, I decided to play my new holiday music, and I swear to you, like the sappy schmuck I am, I totally became verklempt and had to fight back the tears every time a new song began. Whether it was 101 Strings doing �Coventry Carol,� or Nat King Cole crooning �The Christmas Song,� I was feeling like a big bag of goo. �Happy Christmas (War is Over)� came on, and even though I�d seen Sheryl Crow (and my buddy, her guitarist, Tim Smith from Jellyfish) sing it last night on TV, I still became choked up. I love Christmas, but I can�t recall ever being so moved by Carols. The only reason I can come up with, is that my house growing up was always such a happy place during the holidays (not that it was an icy wasteland other times of the year). My mom is a Christmas nut too, so all she listened to for a month was her old Firestone Christmas albums, as well as Luciano and Babs. There was almost always a fire in the fireplace, and the scent of the live tree pervaded the den. In the kitchen, there was usually something good in the oven or on the stove � even if it was only a pot full of spices boiling, just to make it smell like baking bread. There were inevitably various projects going on, and I loved helping with them.

Now that I�m older and I live alone with only Miss Penelope, I suppose I miss the happy family feeling, and that�s why the songs are making me weepy. I don�t have a fireplace, and my tree is aluminum � which is awesome, but odorless. There are no stockings, no Santa, and certainly nothing in the kitchen sending out spicy aromas. And definitely, no 3-week vacation.

At least my family is nearby � well most of them anyway. And we�ll have the wonderful, fun Christmas Dinner at my parents� house like we always do. And the maternal cousins will be there, and they are always a blast. We get drunk and play games and eat until we�re about to pass out. I just hate when it�s over, because it means I have to wait a whole year for it to happen again. It may sound trite and clich�, but I really do love Christmas.

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