2002-05-15 - 9:45 a.m.

This is perhaps the scariest piece of information I've ever heard. From 23% to 60% of urban residents with asthma are sensitive to cockroaches. Studies show that 78% to 98% of urban homes have cockroaches. Each home has from 900 to 330,000 of the insects. How the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight knowing there may be a quarter of a million roaches lurking around in my house? If I had a dollar for each one...

You may think I am making a big deal out of my roachaphobia, but let me tell you what I woke up to the other morning. Big brown roach-poo death trails in my bathtub! They then went up the shower wall, and all over the ceiling! Now I have to get the ladder out, put it in the tub, and clean that shit off the walls! Of course I immediately cleaned what I could reach. But you know, All of this scary stuff is happening while I'm asleep and it's almost too much to bear! At least they are all dying because I sprayed the miraculous Bengal Gold in all the crannies they like to hide out in. But can't they just stop coming to my house all together? I guess not. Such is life in New Orleans.

A few years ago, I decided it was time to flip my mattress, and in between the mattress and the box spring was a dead roach! I think I have reported that story on here before, but it might just need to be reiterated. I SLEPT IN A BED WITH A DEAD ROACH UNDER ME LIKE THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG! And I don't even get to marry a prince out of this deal!

The other night, I dreamed Dweezil Zappa was hanging out with my 13 year old nephew. How cool would that be?

Oh, and for those of you who have been wondering what I ever decided to get for lunch the other day, I went with the roast beef po-boy. I honestly think it was the messiest one I've ever had, which in these parts means it was SERIOUSLY good. Next time though, I really will get the fried chicken. Today though, it's just a turkey bologna sandwich.

Well here's a stupid poll for you. I have just been reading a lot of weird trivia lately. So now you can pick your favorite fact...

Which of these facts is the coolest?

The average hamster, if provided a wheel, will run up to eight miles per night! A snail can sleep for 3 years. A female ferret dies if it goes in heat and can't find a mate. A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana. Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head. There is a species of shrimp, inhabiting rivers in Texas, that measures nearly two feet long. A whale's penis is called a dork. Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo. In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees.

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song of the day: My New Career Japan

penelope fact: The Old Gray Beard, She Ain't What She Used To Be...

something queer: Roswell is officially over! I'll miss you Michael, Max, Isabel, Maria, Liz, and Kyle!

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