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2002-04-16 - 10:20 a.m.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Aside from the heat, which makes me turn on my A/C Window Unit which makes strange gurgley noises and the trains that run "through my house" all night long as a recent houseguest claimed, I've had a couple of other problems of late. This first one may be less of a problem and more of a "problem." See, I had this night terror the other night that I was being abducted by aliens. And to make matters worse, everyone I've told has the same response: "you probably were." That's comforting.

The next night, like a dumb ass, I told someone about it late at night on the phone, so I had to stay up 'til 2 am watching a stupid Jamie Foxx movie to take my mind off it. At least it was dumb AND very amusing... He actually initiated a sing-along to "Reasons" by Earth Wind & Fire, which is one of my favorite songs to laugh at!

So last night, I was awoken by a mysterious beep. Of course, in my half-awake state, I was convinced the aliens were coming back. Nevermind that aliens probably have no need for things that go beep.

ALIEN?

So after a few beeps, I got up to investigate. However, the beeping stopped, and I was no longer able to follow the sound to its source. Fine. Back in bed, then there was a train convoy for like, 30 minutes. Just as I almost dozed off again, beep! beep! ACK! I knew it wasn't my cordless phone, but I put it back on the hook anyway. beep!

At this point, I was still scared, but becoming more annoyed. Soon, the beeping stopped, and I got back in bed. 4:45, almost asleep again, and BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I searched my house frantically. Maybe my last houseguests left some weird alarm that suddenly decided to go off tonight. Nothing. Checked the computer. nada. So I grabbed my Mag-Lite� and headed outdoors. It was louder out there. Barefoot, and at the mercy of any freewheeling roaches, I was going to pinpoint the sound. The best I could figure, it was coming from the vacant house next door. They've been in there painting, getting ready to move in, but I stll don't get the beeping. At least I felt better that it wasn't aliens or some guy hiding in my closet whose watch kept going off.

But then, it didn't stop. In fact, it got worse. So nearly crying from exhaustion at 5:21 am, I resorted to earplugs (which are scary because if there was a noise I really needed to hear, I might not be able to!). When I woke up for good this morning, it was nonstop. beepbeepbeep pause beepbeepbeep pause beepbeepbeep pause beepbeepbeep pause beepbeepbeep pause. It's like I am living next door to a giant microwave!

It better be off by the time I get home tonight or else I will have to call the cops. I feel like Marge in last weeks episode of the Simpsons - she couldn't get a wink of sleep due to Homer's snoring...

In other news, the more I hear Los Amigos Invisibles, the more I love them. (except for the one song that has that stupid vocorder effect and sounds so faggy. I really just hate that shit. I am sure they are trying to be humorous about it, but I just can't listen to that crap.) They are so filthy! They have a song whose title translates (roughly) into "I want to put you on all fours." lol! and let's not forget the one actually called "Masturbation Session!"

Oh, and finally, I caught the IKV video for "Coolo" the other day, and the little person (mini-Brando) from the Brando/Kilmer version of "The Island of Dr. Moreau" is in it SHAKING HIS ASS (as the song instructs him to)!!!!! And Dante and Emmanuel look SO hot in it, it should be illegal.

And if people don't sign my guest book or join my mailing list soon, there are going to be a few ass-whoopins in store.

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