2002-03-06 - 11:13 p.m.

So in my eternal quest to catch another Zurdok video on tape, I am learning more and more about the wonderful world of Spanish music.

Take, for example, C-Note. We assume they mean an American C-Note, because what's that in pesos? Like, $10? Well, I am halfheartedly listening while working on my fabuloso painting, and I SWEAR they have ripped off their beat from a Hall & Oates song. I decide I must be imagining it, but then suddenly, the telltale keyboard riff from "I Can't Go For That" appears before my astounded ears! This band looked like a boy band, and it's not like the whole song was full of samples and stuff. The worst part was they didn't write the rest of their song around the Hall & Oates beat! It was like 2 songs going on at once. Very odd.

So today, I unexpectedly ran into my genius hairdresser while eating lunch with my boss and co-worker. She was going to eat alone, so I invited her to join us. Now there's a strange combo. But like Vicks Vapors and Breathe Right Strips, it was a fine blend.

Okay, here is a multiple choice test for you. Only one of the following statements is true. See if you can guess which one.

1. Carson Daly has a prosthetic limb.

2. Britney Spears REALLY is a virgin.

3. N*SYNC's Lance Bass is planning to travel to outer space.

4. A gerbil was recently taken to Cedars Sinai Hospital to have Richard Gere removed from its ass.

Did you guess #3? If so, you are correct! Let's just cross our fingers and hope that history (in the form of the Challenger explosion) repeats itself.

Aww, that was mean. Poor stupid Lance Bass. I guess he shouldn't die. But how many pissed off guys are there running around NASA right now knowing that they have earned every right to fly out there, but have been continually passed over by their peers?!?!? As if that's not insulting enough, some vapid poop-star gets to go just because he attended space camp as a 12 year old and happens to have that dopey sweet face, floppy blonde locks, and can remember a few dance steps? Maybe it's because he is experienced with a headset-mike.

Hmmm. Now when you hold this fact at arms length and examine it carefully, aside from the giant ketchup stain, do you notice how sickly, perversely WRONG this world is?

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