2002-02-21 - 11:51 p.m.

They don't even know what it is to be a fan! To blindly love some silly piece of music... or some band so much that it hurts... -- Sapphire, "Almost Famous"

I know what it's like. That quote would be on my tombstone if I weren't planning to be cremated. I want my ashes dumped out in the Hollywood Hills. What better place?

'Cos see, next month, that's where I'll be. Because I love some band so much that it hurts. Yes folks, I'm going to see Zurdok in wonderful Hollywoodland. I befriended their manager today and he told me that the LA show in March is the last US show for god knows how long. I guess until they record another album, and hopefully don't break up. And I'm told I'll be on the guestlist +1. That's pretty awesome, I think. I miss those days...

I really resent people trivializing my emotions regarding music. It's just as valid and important to me as someone's religion or marriage or baby or political cause is to them. It's the reason I wake up every day. So in spite of the hard time I've already been given regarding this most recent rock-n-roll excursion, I intend to have the time of my life. The way I see it, the Fates were conspiring to make this happen for me. Everything that's happened so far has been just a little bit too coincidental. In fact, one of my favorite songs by them is about that very subject - fate vs. coincidence.

You know, people can think I am a nut or a stalker or irresponsible or whatever they want. Because what in the hell is the point of living if you deprive yourself of the very things that you live FOR?

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