2002-02-21 - 12:12 p.m.
Today, I want to talk about all my new friends on MTVS. I call them friends, but really, I mean pesky irritating annoyances. Well, some of them are friends.
As you all know, I worship Zurdok, so I keep MTVS on endlessly in an effort to tape all their videos. Unfortunately, I have to sit through days of the same 7 types of videos repeatedly until I get one decent one - let alone Zurdok! Some videos you will see every other hour. And naturally, they are not good. Below is a list of the standard video types.
Type 1. Long-Haired Scantily-Clad Disco Dollie(s) Shake it While Lip-Synching on Ultra-Colorful Set. Thalia and OV7 are the reigning champs - the music is like Gay Bar Music en espa�ol. Plenty of the same fake drumrolls. Shakira does not fit in this category. Shakira has talent, and all these girls WISH they could belly-dance like she can!
Type 2. Passionate GQ-Handsome Man on Beach Attempting (and Often Succeeding) to Have Sex with Beautiful Woman. Shalim, Christi�n, Alejandro Sanz, and Enrique Iglesias are the main offenders - the music is generic "soulful" tripe.
Type 3. Devilish GQ-Handsome Man Out on the Town Mixin' it Up with the Ladies. This is the Ricky Martin and RM Wanna-Be department; Christi�n also has one of this type, but it's still on the beach - the music is one step above Gay Bar Music. (But you sorta have to love RM.)
Type 4. Take Me Seriously, I am Passionate and Serious (but I am Still Working the Sexy Angle) Woman in a Car or by a Window. Here we file the videos of Laura Pausini and Lynda - the music is the female version of Type 2.
Type 5. Wacky Guy or Band and EVERYBODY They Ever Met Hanging Out Playing Soccer, Dancing, and Having a Fiesta! Los Fabulosos Cadillacs are guilty of this far too often. In fact, sometimes they play a LFC rock block so you can see all 20 of their videos like this! There are others (the guy will usually be fat and have longish curly hair), but I can't recall their names at the moment.
Type 6. MTVS Unplugged Video. Now, I can't really say this is wrong, per se, except for the fact that EVERYONE has one and they play them FAR too much! At the moment the 2 in heaviest rotation are Alejandro Sanz and La Ley con Ely Guerra. I like La Ley and his Jimmy Fallon hair, but this screeching Ely chica and her painfully narrow nostrils is not something I want to see every 45 minutes.
Type 7. Alternative-Type Band Trying to Break the Mold Weirdness. There are plenty of these videos, and d� gracias a Dios for them. I may not like the music most of the time, but at least there is something interesting to LOOK at. And sometimes, it's actually a good song too! Of course, my faves Zurdok, Illya Kuryaki and the Valderramas, Jumbo, Los Amigos Invisibles, Plastilina Mosh, and Shakira fit in this category - and there's one I taped by Turf that was quite pleasing. La Ley ordinarily fits into this category, as well as Social Seguridad (lol!) and Manu Chau.
So there you have it. Please send Zurdok vibes to MTVS if you are meditating or something. And while you are at it, run out and pick up a copy of their CD "Maquillaje." It is by far one of the best albums ever made. If you like The Beatles, if you like Pet Sounds, if you like Jellyfish, Jason Falkner, Redd Kross, Air or anything like that, you will LOVE Zurdok!
My work here is done.
song of the day: penelope fact: something queer: