2001-10-12 - 3:57 p.m.

So last weekend, Phil, Thom, Jen and I went to the Gretna Heritage Fest to see Black Oak Arkansas and Foghat. It was a very insane experience, needless to say. And as ALL things Heidi go, I fell. Again. 4th major fall of the year. Last time, I figured that was it. You know, things come in threes. We were not even there 10 minutes before it happened too! So I had to limp around the rest of the day. At least until the ICEHOUSE (!??!!?) beer I was drinking made me forget a little bit. I just tripped over Phil�s foot as we were walking through the crowd. It didn�t have to be so bad. But down I went in front of the whole world. Or at least the whole of Gretna. The result? A sprained ankle wrapped in an ace bandage. Still, a week later. Of course, Jen and I could not stop cracking up about it for the longest time.

Phil was really excited by the Space Walk situation. There was one that was supposed to be � and this is just a guess � a giant lumberjack. This is pretty darn ironic considering the fact that an old friend of mine and I came up with the term �Manly Woodchopping Man� to describe the kind of guy who (we decided) is epitomically personified by Jim Dandy. For those of you who don�t know who Jim Dandy is, he�s the singer of Black Oak Arkansas, the band we were there to see! As if that wasn�t enough Jim Dandy synchronicity, stay tuned, there�s more to come!

After a while of walking around observing stuff � least of all the guy whose profile looked like a Mime Rocker who didn�t quite wash all his make up off, but instead, I think it was some really freaky scar around his eye (frightening!) � we decided to sit down. My ankle was feeling shaky, and my leg was killing me. While sitting there staring at people � mostly redneck biker types, we spotted someone to give Mime Rocker Accident Victim a run for his money. Phil says to me �Look! It�s a hunchback!� I glanced over, and sure enough, there was a little guy with no neck and hunched shoulders; I guess he was in his mid-40s. Poor guy � I didn�t really want to make fun of him, but he was wearing a satin Led Zeppelin jacket! Phil goes �It�s Led Zeppelin�s biggest fan!� I clarified, �No! It�s Led Zeppelin�s SMALLEST fan!� We laughed for a second, and then Phil topped it. �No! It�s Led Zeppelin�s most oddly shaped fan!� And with that, we had a winner! After that brief moment, we never saw him again.

Eventually, it was time for Black Oak Arkansas to take the stage. First, let me back up a sec, and tell you that I always knew the legend of Black Oak Arkansas. I knew who Jim Dandy was and what looked like, and that he was a Manly Woodchopping Man. But until about 2 months ago, I never really HEARD Black Oak Arkansas. The purchase of a �Racing Rocks� tape at a gas station on a road trip introduced my friends and me to the wonder that is: �Hot & Nasty,� one of the songs for which BOA is best known. It is AWESOME. One minute, he�s singing like some deep-throated hillbilly opera star, and the next minute, like a crusty old pirate. At the show, I realized where Axl Rose got some of his vocal stylings from, and in retrospect, I could say the same about Gibby from the Butthole Surfers. In any case, a couple of weeks before the show, I ran out and bought a BOA greatest hits CD, and totally fell in love. With the music that is. I already knew that Jim Dandy had not aged well, and slightly resembled the frog from the WB. Very top heavy, big face, too much skin.

So, Black Oak Arkansas takes the stage. A couple hundred people are standing in the audience to watch. I�m not nearly as close as I�d hoped to be, but it turns out to be okay. Out comes Jim and OHMYGOD, he�s wearing an eyepatch! Did he KNOW that I had been saying he sings like a pirate for the last week? IS he a pirate? But that�s not all. He�s got on a quarter length leather vest embroidered with �The Wild Bunch,� which is the name of their last album. I was too far away to notice his footwear, but the rest of his outfit consisted of a black muscle shirt, faded tight black jeans and TWO belts! Go Jim Dandy! Go Jim Dandy! He muttered something completely incoherent, and began singing a song that was apparently NOT a greatest hit. But the next song was. And the one after that. God it was so much fun. At some point during the show, I had to go to the high-tech Port-o-Potty trailer with flushing toilets and running water. While in line, the rode-hard-and-put-away-wet toothless old lady in front of me turns to me and squawks out, �Doesn�t he sound like a pirate?� And then she starts with the �Ahoy Matey� type imitations. JeeZAM! How utterly surreal and bizarre! How totally AWESOME! Meanwhile, my more pop-culturally-ironic generation-mates were busy at the Quiet Riot/Twisted Sister show. Yawn. Back to my spot in the audience where I danced my little heart out to �Hot & Nasty,� �Jim Dandy,� �Hot Rod,� �Mutants of the Monster,� and �Fever in My Mind.� GOD I worship Black Oak Arkansas. Imagine if this were 30 years ago, and instead of being a month old, I was 19, and Jim Dandy was still Hot & Nasty in the GOOD way. Whooooo boy you can bet I wouldn�t have been so far from the stage. And after the show, I mighta been letting ol� Jim show me his hot rod. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, Jim slurred something about being near the side of the stage after the show to sign autographs. We forgot, and got food instead, and by the time we remembered, they were nowhere in sight. A little while later, we made our way back to the stage during Foghat, and were thoroughly disappointed. It was way too clean, way too tight, way too BORING. We all agreed that Jim Dandy knows the value of a good old-fashioned sloppy, dirty rock-n-roll show, and we left early to beat the traffic.

So if any of you EVER get the chance to see Black Oak Arkansas, do it. You will not regret it!

previous - next